Fear

Seating on a red cushioned chair swirling around, wondering how am i suppose to accomplish this. I don't have the confident to do this. I can't stop thinking how it would end up. I want it to be end happily but i have a feeling that it won't. I guess if it doesn't, i'm the one to blame. The effort isn't enough, the heart doesn't focus on the right things. The mind wonders off everytime those bombastic words slowly one by one going into the mind but not sinking in. I want to succeed but there isn't any time left. I hope god will be by my side and give me all the luck he can give. Give me this one thing that i want the most so i can rebuild my confidence and live a normal life. Help me so i can have peaceful sleep. Give me those confidence to go into that room and do the best that i can. I really need it, so people don't look down on me, especially the people i really love. 

For whatever the future lies, love ones please be there for me. Don't criticize. I need you all to live. mummy, i love you. tell me that everything will be okay even if i don't achieve what you want me to.